Friday, 28 December 2012

One of the nostalgic moment in 2012


This is my place for 2-months! ps: the 3 leng lui who pretend busy were interns as well. XD 

We were at KL branch with Lily (the most prominent little girl who is only 11 years old, from Beijing,China).Yoohoo, Say cheese girls!

Ahhh~ i miss my internship's life! Miss my long blonde hair, miss my ex colleagues, my darling Shashee! =) Miss all those moments i spent with them~ time flies. I cannot look back, i only can move forward. 
ps: study week now, can't story all the memorable moments. Stay tuned for more pics and story yea. muahaha! 

Thursday, 27 December 2012

She found her love!

The end of Christmas, the coming of new year! But is study week now T.T how sad~ I don't really have the new year mood as i have to struggle with my final exams! Argh! What a stressful week! How i wish i have 36 hours a day!

A best friend of mine called me yesterday. We talked almost 2 hours. She started her new relationship after half year broke up with her ex. She told me she found out that they both like each other. Curiously, i asked her : How do you know u like him? What is the chemistry of like or love? She answered me is some kind of unexplainable feeling...FEELING? Again? Ahahaha, feel is the first and foremost aspects to start a relationship. Although i really opposed this claim, but errm, yeaaa, maybe she is got her point.

Secondly, there must have trust in order to have love. A relationship meant nothing and cannot grow without the belief between each other. FAITH, it really matters!

I forgot the feeling of falling in love, or perhaps, i do not want to recall it, because right now i do not have courage to commit into relationship. I afraid of accepting a love from a stranger since i broke up with my ex. That is a horrible nightmare for me T.T. Although i went through it already. Ya, is my bad, my fault for not letting people enter into my life again. Perhaps it is what i'd like to call it as "self-protection" for myself?

Single is isn't a bad thing, isn't?

Lastly, a little speech from me to you,:

Hey my dear friend,
"i really happy to hear that you have found your love, Congrats and may God bless you and i will always pray hard for you and your new partner! Have faith!"  =)

Saturday, 8 December 2012

University

Is a place for you to pursuit your studies, degree, master or Philosophy of Doctor (PhD);
So do I. I am here, continue my degrees. I am taking BA (Hons) English for Professionals, minor in Management.
I felt that continue studies in University ain't easy as I thought. Previously when i was doing my diploma, I felt so easy. But here, i feel that is so stressful. I cannot cope my studies, especially an accounting student who suddenly change to English course as my major. What phonetics? Phonology? Morphology? Syntax? Semantics? Pragmatics? sounds so alienate to me. When i was doing my first year, i cried everyday and i wanted to give up. Everything did not go on smoothly.
Again, it happens once again in my second year, I feel like I want to quit my studies! I had conflict with my course mate because of assignment; I feel belittled by my lecturer, everything seems wrong to me!

But later, i accidentally found one book inside my drawer: Dandelon published by Persatuan Pelajar Buddhist (PBB), as i read through the article, it's really knock me out. I love the quotes : Do not get obsessed with your fantasy but think what is remain to be done RIGHT NOW to bring yourself forward. As Buddha said, "your thoughts today creates your tomorrow." then why should you be over-concern about tomorrow?

Friday, 7 December 2012

A song that heal my soul!


Jayesslee always! Love their song very much! 
Here you are : Officially missing you!!!! 


Wednesday, 5 December 2012

个人成长之记载篇!

以下都是我失恋的时候所记载的心情。失恋让我渡过一段很痛苦的日子,几乎每天都以泪洗脸,庆幸今日的我还能好好地活着。感恩陪我成长的朋友,他们鼓励我,支持我,我才能撑住。
失恋最难过的是连你家人也为你难过,还记得我在妈妈面前忍不住流眼泪的时候,她对我的心疼更是加倍,她也哭了,我觉得自己做女儿的做得不够好,长这么大了还让家人伤心,所以我告诉自己要流泪也要躲得远远的,把泪狠狠地吞下。
其实爱情原来只是一个过程,他有一定的保鲜期,他也不是永恒的,以前的我太单纯了~ 现在我想通了,我不想再玩这些游戏,因为我玩不起~ 其实爱情是学不完的学问。急不来也赶不去。不要因为无法适应单身而四处找男朋友,这样更显得自己很脆弱,很卑微。这么年轻的我应该向自己的未来发展,展宽自己的视野,外面有很多值得我去体验的东西,不要因为一个连感恩和珍惜都不懂的男人而失去原有的自己。谁的青春没有浅浅的瘀青?成长就是一种挑战!
没有什么比个人成长还要重要!活着,就要爱自己!加油!



个人成长篇 1
5/9/2012

我今天又点退步咯。因为我今天因为想念他而流泪,我经过subaidah常常想起我们一起吃午餐,我常常把饭分给他,怕他吃不饱。他会留一些肉给我。又忍不住去看那个sher lan的照片,发现到她确实比我美很多。
我的头脑不断地问自己:为什么他要背叛我,之前又对我这么好?有用吗?米音!!!!一切都是过去了。。。。T.T
天啊!要抹掉回忆真的那么难吗?朋友告诉我,回忆会让我更成长,但这些回忆让我好痛苦。在重新站起来这段路,我知道我会跌很多次,米音,把药搽在伤口上,刚开始有点刺痛,忍一忍就没事了,之后会慢慢生死皮,一旦死皮落了下来,新的皮肤就会让你忘掉你曾经有着一个跌倒的伤口。我现在还在搽药的过程,所以会常常觉得有刺痛。
米音,请记得康伟告诉你的故事,他只是路过而已,他已经不是牵着你一起走那个色彩的人,他变灰色了。他只是路过而已,他已经走远了,你也不要一直坐在路边,你也必须继续你的路程。总有一天,你会遇见另一位色彩的人。

个人成长篇 2
10/9/2012

我是多么的脆弱,我不能看到他。我头脑真的很乱,我的心情一点都不好。人家可以活得很潇洒,春风满面,为何我不能?我真的很辛苦,我要睡也睡不好,明明肚子很饿,但我吃了两口就饱了。我越来越退步了!
神啊,这段成长的过程我真的很辛苦,我真的爬不起来,我该怎么办?我这个病什么时候才会好?
为什么他要玩我这种认真的人?
我给自己一个月的时间,停止眼泪。我必须把心思放在课业上。我必须必须做到。

个人成长篇 3
13/9/2012

He was the one started everything, but he ended everything by his own hand. I don’t understand between feeling and affection. Because of feeling, he can simply fall in love to other person, because of feeling; he can simply said he felt bored talking with me every night.
我为什么不敢面对他?做错事的人明明就不是我。我到底在害怕什么?其实我最害怕的是他那冷漠,装作没认识我的表情。我无法接受这个现实的残酷。我觉得很恐怖,一个昨日曾经牵过你的手,说他有多么爱你会包容你一切的男人,如今只是一个陌生人.晚上一个人的时候会特别害怕,会乱乱想。
Dear God, I beg you, please let me out from this torturing’s life. I really suffering, the more I want to forget him, the more I miss him. I always tell myself that I deserve to get better. Now I realized that how weak am I in a relationship, I even get gastric because I don’t have any appetite to eat. No worth it Meiyin u are not worth it!
I hope I can go back to home soon, I cannot stand alone in University…. =(

个人成长篇 4
14/9/2012

今天中午上minor时找不到班,真的有股冲动要打给他叫他帮忙。后来还是骂自己不准犯溅而忍住了。最后还是解决了,庆幸=
过后馨薇打电话来安慰我,他说我必须咬紧牙根渡过这一关,不然的话永远都不能成长。他常常开导我,分析给我我的问题。我原来是多么的脆弱。你知道吗?我每天早上一睁开眼睛就会开始想这些问题,我会需要他到想和他谈交易。就谈一场互相利用的关系。恐怖吧我?连我自己也不敢相信我会这样想。这也无形中表示我又多么的脆弱,没有他我什么都不是。又好像被馨薇点醒了,我真的真的需要改变自己。
我的宿舍朋友LingLing Fion都一直点醒我不准犯溅不准见他不准回他的信息。谢谢他们。衷心地感谢。这个星期五我有回家,哈哈好开心咧!!!!回家吃我爱的妈妈煮的饭就不会胃痛了啦!
今天觉得自己的表现不错,给自己及格吧!

个人成长篇6
15/9/2012

今天听馨薇说他感情的过去,有些领悟。我觉得我的过去不是真爱。一个真正爱你的人会试着包容你,更懂得尊重你。
我真的很感谢神,让我坚持我的想法了这么久,而我的坚持证明了一个人对我的真爱。这个男的不是真心爱我的,因为我坚持我的纯洁,或许打从一开始他已经想在我的身上得到一些东西,而我拒绝给他我最珍贵的东西,所以他厌倦了。
谢谢你啊神,我是多么的幸运,庆幸自己发现的早,也让自己见证了‘性’根本就不是爱。原来我在这么多女人之中,是显得多么的珍贵多么的纯洁。
我真的是该接受这个事实:男人都是用半身思考的东西!几乎全部男生都是一样的。
米音,你必须接受他已经背叛你的事实,过去对你的好都只是过去,已经成为历史的东西再也不会回来,这是人生中的一个挫折,要怎样爬出来都要靠我自己。朋友只能陪你听,但要好起来的话都要靠你自己。没有为什么,一个人已经变心就是这么简单。不用再问自己为什么,真的已经没有什么为什么了!
一个人若已经不懂得珍惜你,在纠缠下去,在问自己多少篇为什么都没用了!其实这世界上,真的有好多好多事情可以值得你去欣赏,就真如妈妈煮的菜,我现在真的很欣赏和认真的品尝她煮的东西,很珍贵,用钱都买不到的。还有和弟弟一起打羽球,也是一种享受。跟阿江小弟弟说话,也会很开心。

个人成长篇7
16/9/2012

昨晚还梦见他,还是一样,梦到他向我道歉。起来时心情更难过,因为一切都是虚假的画面。还是很难过,常常心不在焉。常常听情歌,流泪。。。后来发了信息叫他的朋友交给我那些属于我的东西。
下午我去庙,买了点东西给和尚,做点小布施。我跪下来祈祷的时候,我向佛求佛赐给我一颗坚强的心,求佛让我脱离这世间种种的痛苦。我几乎都快哭了,因为我知道,除了求神,我无法让我的心安定下来。我这次面对很大的挑战,我要很独立地应付我自己拿脆弱的心灵,独自重新站起来。我必须够坚强,才能面对眼前的挑战。我知道,很清楚的知道,这是成长的过程,我必须稳稳地站起来。
晚上,我上面子书,读到一篇很启发我想法的文章。
对呀,热恋也是有一定的新鲜期,我的已经截止日期了。只要曾经拥有过就好了。其实人生中真的还有很多比爱情更重要的东西必须完成,如果我现在还不懂得乘年轻时做我应该做的事,那才是对不起自己。其实很多事情真的不要把他看得太严重,等有一天你回头看看,你就会知道,这并不算是什么。哈哈。
所以啊米音,你必须长大了咯,记得记得,你回到大学,你必须很勇敢,你知道吗?你的英文差到~你想别人看不起你吗?你想在group里面没有朋友吗?你的梦想呢?难道就要被一个男人而毁掉吗?
我读了这篇文章后我觉得好像轻松得多了,我不知道为什么,或许真的是神的安排吧,真的。在这段感情里,或许我们都还年轻,不懂得谈恋爱,以为自己必须谈一场轰轰烈烈的爱情,以为那些幼稚的承诺就是守护感情,其实不是的,一个人对你有没有“心”才是能证明他是否真正的爱你。若他已经没有心了,再怎么骂他讲他拿起承诺来算帐,都是没用的。过去,我真的很爱他,我把他捉得紧紧的,我要他遵守它做过的承诺,因为是他答应我的。我好像要谈一场我要谈的恋爱,而不是我们要谈的恋爱。最后,他也选择了背叛我,这件事也证明了他不懂得处理感情,也想把我当成备胎,庆幸我发现得早。也让我上了人生中的一堂课,真的很宝贵,感谢佛祖,感恩。嗯,今天我好像想通了一些。我想,我要选择原谅他,这样,我才会过得很开心。
做不成恋人,也可以作朋友,我想,我必须坦然的面对他。
加油!我真的相信我可以做到。今晚会有好觉睡咯。哈哈太好了今天的成绩:Excellent!!!!! =)






Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Imperfections

How do you look on yourself?

I am 22 year old young lady, I have scars on my face, my teeth are crooked, my eyes are droopy they make me look sad, my nose too big, my smile lop-sided, my body isn't exactly what you'd call "slim", my stature isn't what you'd call "tall". These are just some imperfections that I have. Some days, they can be the cause of misery I feel I want to lock myself in a tower away from everyone.

But then, when I have enough sense to knock myself out of such nonsense, the true reality hits me! I can see, smell, hear, speak, touch or even feel! I feel glad that I was born to this world, and I have to use the ability that i have to help anyone who needed my help. 



Cheer up! It's goona be a good day, isn't? =P


Sunday, 2 December 2012

初恋记


我在大学第二年的第一个学期结束了我的初恋。
他背叛我,我对自己恨下心放弃这个人;
我渡过一段很痛苦的时期,
我慌,我哭,我气,我恨,我心痛死了~
我是认真的,为什么他玩弄我的感情?
我把他放在我梦想的一部分;
可是,
他让我在大学与他的毕业照梦想破碎了,
让我的目标的同时也消失了~

在这整个学期我很努力的适应单身的自己,
渐渐的,
我痊愈了。
又为自己设立新的生活目标了,
告诉自己没什么比自己的个人成长更重要,
为自己而活,不当盲虫,当最爱的自己。

 初恋情人,
感激你,狠狠地把我给甩开了,
你让我从噩梦中清醒过来,
我在爱情里学习一堂很宝贵的一课,
谢谢你的残忍,让我更坚强,
谢谢你给我的美好回忆,让我知道什么叫做谈恋爱;
也谢谢你提醒我,原来爱情不是全部,
谢谢你离开了我,因为我知道最好的永远在最后。
谢谢你,让我学会宽恕别人是给自己最好的礼物。




Like a dream, i just came back from a 2 days 1 night Kung Fu interaction camp. Well, as expected, restless sleepless throughout the 2 days camp. Finally, collapsed! Tired but still enjoying the camp very much. 
But right now, i have to pack my feeling because TONS of works is waiting for me! Is time to put a stop to the procrastination. I have been delaying all my works!!!